


Remember

by East02End



Category: EastEnders
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-09
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:14:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27471823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/East02End/pseuds/East02End
Summary: I don’t know what this is, it’s really bad but I posted it anyways.Callum telling Ben about Chris.Some of it I made up 😬God I’m getting worse at this writing malarkey.
Relationships: Ben Mitchell / Callum Highway
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	Remember

Ben sat down opposite Callum, making him jump slightly. 

“You okay? You’ve been weird all morning.”

“Yeah, just thinking...”

Ben took Callum’s coffee from him, taking a sip.

“Argh, god Callum, how long you been sitting in here?! This is freezing!”

“It’s a café, Ben. Pretty sure you can sit down?”

“Gee, what is wrong with you today?” Ben shook his head standing back up, heading over to Kathy. “How long has he been sitting there?”

“Most of the morning. Just been staring into his mug the whole time.”

“Have I done something??” Ben muttered to himself. 

“Knowing you, probably.”

“Oi! Thanks, Mum, lovely as always.” Ben smiled at Kathy, heading back over to Callum. 

“Got you another. You gonna tell me what your thinking about then?”

Callum looked up, taking the coffee from Ben.

“I was meant to be at a service today, but I don’t know whether I can...”

Ben cursed himself, for remembering Callum would probably be upset today. Remembrance Day. 

“Do you want me to come with you?”

Callum smiled at Ben, shaking his head.

“It’s not just that, really. I don’t know whether I should be there.”

“Why wouldn’t you? You might not right now, but you have still served? You’ve got very right to be there.”

They sat in silence for a while, Ben respecting that Callum just wanted to think. 

“I lost one of my good friends last year.” Callum suddenly said, after a while, looking up at Ben. “I wasn’t serving at the time, obviously. His sister came to tell me.”

“Were you close?” 

Ben looked at Callum, staring into his mug again. 

“Yeah...”

Ben stood up, swapping sides to sit next to Callum. 

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. 

“I just can’t help thinking that if I’d have been there he might not have died.”

“How’d you work that out, eh? You weren’t there.”

“I was supposed to be, Ben? But I had my leg injury, so Chris got sent instead. They were driving and there was an explosion... It was my fault...”

“Course it wasn’t? You didn’t know that would happen?”

“Gone, Ben. Just like that. Forever.”

Ben wrapped his arm around Callum, instantly leaning into Ben. 

“You loved him, didn’t you?” 

Callum looked a little shocked, Ben simply nodding. 

“He wanted me to, but I wasn’t- not back then, I wasn’t ready. I did...”

“Tell me about him.”

Callum looked at Ben, looking unsure. 

“Chris.” Ben nodded, resting his head on Callum’s shoulder. 

“Erm, he was my best friend when I first joined. We did everything together.”

“He sounded like a nice guy.”

“He was. We used to cook stuff together when we could. He’d make this dead horrible dish, didn’t even know what it was.” Callum smiled. 

Ben looked up at Callum, holding his hand. 

“I’d eat it anyway. Or we’d come up with random recipes. I remember one time, he told me it was okay that I was gay. It sort of came as a shock to me cos I’d never said anything. But he knew, even if I hadn’t accepted it. I mean, you clearly know I hadn’t back then. Bit like you really, you seemed to know.”

“Well Chris was right. It is okay.” Ben kissed his shoulder lightly, locking their hands together. 

“I just refused to accept it back then. That was before we’d get called to be on the frontline. When they needed us we didn’t have time to cook. That’s when I injured my leg, so they sent me back home...”

“Did you keep in touch?” 

Callum shook his head slowly, Ben squeezing his hand in his. 

“We lost touch, with him still being stationed abroad and I was with Whit at the time. We sort of slowly became less and less ‘in touch’ over time.”

“I’m sure he still thought about you, missed you.”

“About a year ago now, Vicky, his sister came to tell me...”

Ben stroked his thumb across Callum’s hand slowly trying to soothe him a little. 

“She gave me all these letters, I didn’t know he’d written them, to her. She was trying to find someone called ‘H’. That’s what he called me, cos he’d write about me to her.”

“He obviously loved you a lot.”

“Maybe... He was gone, like that and I never got to say goodbye...”

“I’m sorry, I wish I could help.”

“You are.” Callum smiled, pressing a kiss on the top of Ben’s head. “I love you.” He whispered. 

Ben wrapped his arm around Callum, both of them sitting in silence for a while. 

“You did that on purpose didn’t you?” Callum smiled. “Making me tell you.”

“It helps. You might not think it at the start, but it does. I just wanted to help.”

“You did. You always do. You can be quite wise when you want to be.”

“Just call me your inspirational coach.” Ben grinned, standing up, holding out his hand.

“Where you going?” Callum frowned.

“To this service with you. You deserve to be there and you get to say goodbye to Chris your own way.”

Callum smiled at Ben, taking his hand. 

“Thank you. For listening. Your amazing, you know that?”

“Course I do.” Ben grinned.

“What did you do then?” Kathy smiled, both hand in hand. 

“Err, excuse me, I think you’ll find I’m all good this time.” 

“This time.” She smiled.


End file.
